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Recently mass media actively promote a subject of adoption of orphan children. And having seen on TV the charming thrown kids, many people quite often think: "Whether I can become that person who will make happy this child?". But warm rushes are broken by quite justified voice of reason. Whether I am able to cope with such burden? Whether there is in my heart a sufficient potential of love and patience? Whether this child will cause in me the same affection when inevitable difficulties come? So, what doubts concerned with adopted children have the real reasons and which of them are wrong? The team of professional writers will help you to cope with such task of writing essays on adoption.

– What do potential parents need to understand to make up the mind to do such serious step – to adopt a child?

It is necessary to understand that to give birth to the child is naturally, and to adopt a child is higher than naturally, in some sense it is a feat. You won't return your own child to orphanage, but there is always a thought that you may return adopted child back from where he or she was taken. It is no secret that percent of refusal of adopted children is very big, according to some information, it is about 25%. Though, it is necessary to tell that among those who refuse there are a lot of grandmothers trustees which could not bring up the teenage grandsons. Quite often adoptive parents refuse adopted children at teenage age in spite of the fact that they took them in infancy.

– So, the teenage crisis is perceived as bad genes though actually we, from safe families, behaved at the corresponding age the same way?

Yes. But when the children become "bad", there is nobody to complain: the genes are ours and the also you have no opportunity to refuse from your own child. About the adoptive child it is possible to tell that, at last, his bad genes are shown, we waited for it and now we can see that we were right. If the child begins to drink or smoke, parents can think that his genetic memory has woken up, though the reasons can be different: usual teenage crisis or deterioration of relationship in a family.

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– What qualities of the person define genes?

Genes define appearance, temperament, I.Q. It is considered that an intelligence limit is congenital. We may tell that genes determine the potential of the person. But as far as this potential is implemented – depends on circumstances. They can prevent to develop to knacks, for example intelligence.

– Are such phenomena as crime, alcoholism, drug addiction defined by genes in some way?

All listed above phenomena are social diseases. Their emergence depends on the child's environment. If he lived in a family of alcoholics, then the alcoholic family is a role model for the child. The example of adults, of course, affects the child. If the child sees that mother behaves in a certain way, as a result he will think that the woman has to behave quite so. But, besides social images and genes, there is also a personal choice of the person. It is the moral choice, and morality doesn't depend on genes.

Potential parents need also to understand that anyway they take psychologically injured child. He needs not only love and care, but also professional understanding of his problems.

– How do adopted children differ from homegrown children?

All adopted children are children from dysfunctional families. They are withdrawn from families with alcoholism, drug addiction, or they are those children from whom their mothers have refused in maternity hospital. So they are children with different degree of a psychological trauma.

If to tell more specifically, then the thrown children differ by interruption of motivation in achievements. If they cannot do something, instead of making it several times and to achieve result, they just refuse this activity. This logic is peculiar to them. If i cannot do something, I will not do it. Often they have great difficulties with studying; it is especially actual when the child gets to a family. At the slightest failure in study the child just refuses to do a task.

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– What do we need to do as parents?

You need to do homework together, to preconize the child for the slightest breakthroughs, thereby, lifting his self-assessment. Adopted children have a low self-assessment. This results from the fact that they have been left by their parents. They have an idea of themselves, as about "necessary to nobody".

– There is an opinion what all orphans are sick and abnormal.

Really, all children who live in orphanage have some emotional, intellectual or physical lag. But we could not tell that they are sick or abnormal. They just lag behind the age. However there are cases when such cases reach pathology.

– What can be made in such case: should we reconcile to the fact that we take psychologically injured child and consequences of a trauma will remain with him forever, or it is possible to make something?

The earlier there was a trauma, the less chances that consequences will smooth out completely, as the earlier there was a trauma, the bigger number of spheres was affected, the more chances that its consequences will affect the whole life. But it doesn't mean that absolutely nothing can be done. But all the same the child taken into a family, when he was already grown up, will differ from the child from a usual family.

First of all, it is necessary to accept this child as yours. So you do not need to impose the overestimated requirements to him, but to give him any support and to try to rehabilitate him in those questions where he is especially broken.

If there is an arrest of development, you need to try to compensate it. If there are serious emotional violations, you just need to address experts. It is necessary to give a lot of warmth to this child, much more, than to usual child, and also you need to have much more patience. The general recipe can't be given because each child has his own rehabilitation program.

We should think over each act of the child, over his manifestations and to try to look for an exit, and to look for it creatively.

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– Whether complexity of relationship of blood and adopted children is the serious problem and one of the main reasons for return of adopted children?

Such returns happen not because of children, but because of adults. Blood children will take a position of parents all the same. If the parent is ready for the fact that the adopted child will live in a family, then children, sooner or later, will accept this position. If parents hesitate or begin to behave incorrectly in relation to adopted children, then of course, blood children repeat parents' behavior. They just show that there is already a rejection problem of this child by the whole family, but not children are the reason. The reason is all the same in parents.

If there are children in a family, then psychologists recommend adopting more junior children to establish the natural hierarchy.

It is not preferable to adopt children when you your own children are small. If there is manifestation of aggression from adopted children, small children could not be protected, and of course, at once parents have a desire to return the adopted child back. Though there are also exceptions from this rule.

Do not forget to mention this when writing your own essay about adoption.

– Could we hope that the adopted child will love new parents?

The child becomes attached to that things and loves those people with whom he is together at present time. If the birth parent is far from the child and they have no direct relations, then the adoptive parent becomes closer and loved one. The child communicates with his parents day by day, shares with them the feelings, problems therefore adoptive parents become immensely significant people as the birth parents.

All existing experience testifies it. Even if earlier the child had a psychological communication with blood relatives, then it disappears or weakens. The adopted child so strongly reaches for adoptive parents that it goes to damage for the relations with blood relatives. He, so to say, endows the relations with blood relatives in favor of receptions because he feels that here is his house, here are his close people, and blood and adoptive relatives aren't compatible among themselves.

The love of the child also depends on how he will be loved by new parents because the child can answer love. If the parent in soul rejects the child and just tries to mold something from him, then we could not even hope to reciprocal love especially. The attitude of children towards their parents is a mirror of the attitude of parents towards their children. What the adult gives, exactly the same he receives. The more you give, the more you receive. Also it is necessary to tell that different children are capable to return love to a greater or lesser extent. The ability to love depends on specific features of the child.

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– Whether the child would reproach adoptive parents that they are bad because they are not the family, especially at teenage age?

We think that it depends on the relations which will develop with the child. Your own children at teenage age can tell you the same not pleasant words. One girl already lives in a family for two years, but still in crisis situations she reproaches parents with the fact that they are not the family and therefore she won't obey them. In this case we would like to advise adoptive parents to think about what stands behind these words. If the child tells: "I hate you", it doesn't mean at all that he really hates you. It just means that he feels very bad at this moment, and now he is dissatisfied with what parents are doing at the moment.

Our team of professional writers, proof readers and editors hopes that the article was helpful for you. Now you know enough to write a persuasive essay on adoption. You may use all the information from our article. Or if you are just doubtful of your writing skills, you may use our services. We will write your paper at a very high level.

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